Monday, October 18, 2010

The long post...

It has been long since i last posted here, as i've been asked and answered, i blog when i am in a very terrible mood.

It has been long, indeed, because i nearly forgot my blog id...but yes of course i finally got it through.

Am i now in a terrible mood? Yes and no.

Why? all started with so much looking forward for a nice weekend concert, and i went to a press conference, and i was asked to be a host, and i finally went on stage, and i got down with some regrets on things that i've said, and i rushed to the second event, sitting with a group of people who don't really talk to us, and finally i was home, thought i ended this long day.

And the longest day ever, started.

And seriously, this is why i am typing my blog in English, for the first time i guess, to start my English lesson from all of you, that should have started long time ago.

I was the one who always ask people to look forward for something, and i was the one who actually ______(1) their hope. I know exactly how they feel when they type those words, and i feel really bad because i can't do anything about it but to say sorry. That's really terrible. I was even more mad when i made some racism comments which i didn't mean it at all. My wall was full of everyone's comments, both likes and hates, both support and _____(2).

I felt really down, as if my heart was too heavy to move. And i hate it when i really feel like crying, my tears don't.

So i went for a movie- Eat, Pray, Love. Watching a movie provide me a good chance to cry.


I did feel much better after talking to my friends and the movie, and i summarize it.

I made mistakes, i apologize, i move on, and i learnt.

Thanks for everything- support, believe in me, and your cheers.

I might be good, but I can be better.

So do me a favour, i can't (or rather i don't know) think of any words in (1) and (2), can someone please help?



Lau said...

“肯认输的人永远最懂说话” - 蔡康永



Anonymous said...

Ah Ken, this is really a touching post. It's great that you wanna improve. It's great that you learnt from your mistakes. No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. But we just have to remember to 跌倒后,要自己爬起来。I tried putting myself in your shoes and I really know how those comments on your facebook wall can hurt. It really do hurts.

But all I can say now to you is that you continue to jiayou and be a better emcee and dj. We all have to grow and improve! (:

Jiayou! and Stay Strong!

Anonymous said...

aiyo. don't so sad. this is how you improve! i think cassies who read this post will sure forgive you. smiles!

Anonymous said...

Don't let this get you so down! I mean, sure, maybe you didn't do so well. but mcee-ing is not a job as easy as it looks.furthermore there was that language barrier then, which made things even harder for you!

just treat this as a new learning experience and get back to your feet soon! In due time, i think the cassies will forgive you de!


Anonymous said...

I commented on your wall, I wondered if you've read it. I know you didn't mean it, if it's me, I'd probably freaked out standing so close to JYJ and in front of thousands of fans.

It's good to learn from your mistakes, life is too short to be disappointed over what you cannot change. I believe as a fan myself, harsh comments would come out without thinking because they concerned their idols. Just like how comments slipped from your mouth on stage without much thought on the consequences.

Cassies will always stand by their idols, firm and strong, but they aren't unreasonable either. So in any case, don't brood over it, eat some chocolates or something. I don't listen to radio, or do I actually know you, but all the best!

You'll need two things, optimism and confidence. They will make life wonderful. (:

- Xinying Lim

WeiSian said...

I commented on your wall too. To be exact, I was the first one who posted a comment that's negative (but that's exactly how I felt that night)which got the ball of negative feedbacks and commotion on your wall rolling.

I apologise if those words sounded harsh for I understand how words can kill someone. Hope this apology is not too late.

I'm glad you read the comments. I assume you did read each and every one of them as feedbacks help one to improve, together with self-reflection of course (which I've seen in this post). It's also good to see that you are willing to learn from your mistakes and become.

But, I'm not planning to forgive you yet. I shall see how much you have improved as an emcee next time I see you. I will then decide if I want to forgive you for the mistakes make that night or not. Well, if I get to see you again, that is.

화이팅!! (Hwaiting/fighting/加油 - I know you can't read korean. ^^)

P.S: The comment I posted on your wall was made not because I was standing on JYJ's side. It was purely based on your performance that night.

P.S.S: I don't know the words for that 2 blanks in your post too. My english is not good either. ^^

Anonymous said...

If you could remember a song that JYJ sang on that day, it says 'Let it go, let it go'...

I personally think the whole event was in a very messy way. Late entrance, bad sound effect and (maybe) last minute cancellation on VIP's photo taking has made all the situation worsen.

Fans were too eager to meet them and had hope to spend MORE time with them. Those negative comments were too strong as equal to their feeling to JYJ!

"let it go, let it go"

PS: 5 is a special number for Cassie (TVXQ's fans)! Please remember that (:

Anonymous said...

Ah Ken, I was at the concert the other day and although I did felt disappointed about the awkwardness and all, it was not all your fault and you're not totally to be blamed.

I know it's not easy hosting, especially with the language difference. The boys looked a little tired too because of the hectic schedule.

All I'm trying to say is, yes things didn't turn out as well as we all hoped it would be but it's alright now. I'm a Cassie and I hope you'll be the host for the future kpop events to come. You've been the host for most of the kpop events I went and I think you're a really good host despite all that happened.

I hope you don't take what the Cassies said in a matter of disappointment in heart 'cause I believe they don't dislike you or anything. So don't get too affected by it okay, fighting! And I'll be waiting to tune in this Wed to Seoul Kpop for JYJ~~ Aja aja! (:

Mong Ling said...

Hi DJ Ken:

(1)第一个你想说的是:"Destroy their hope". 比较强的字眼是"Dirtied their hope in despair". 在我看并没那么糟,用“destroy" 就可以了,请别忧郁太久。



你可以多post英文的blog, 不会的英文我能尽量帮你(虽然英文也不怎么好)。我现在是新大的学生,英文应该没差到哪。哈哈。



Anonymous said...

Ken, I'll give my views here :)

Cassies love our boys (TVXQ) and wants the best for them (Esp for them to feel happy and comfortable during their short and rare stay here in SG) It's not easy for us to see them here thus we really hoped hard for the event to run well smoothly.

So, to be honest.. It was actually disappointing and depressing that night (Other than the fact that the boys always do the best in whatever they do) The delay caused, the VIP cancellation of phototaking, the hall seating are not what the fans expected (not feel that satisfied) Then comes a host and translator which many ended up bashing at. Truthfully, yes, I was disappointed as your usage of Singlish. I know it's part of SG culture, and it's also part of being informal so that the boys will feel comfortable. But I'm sure a lot were cringing at the Singlish used and jokes that didn't seem to pass well to JYJ. In addition, Cassies were disappointed cause even YooChun who left US ages ago had better command of English, and couldn't understand Singlish well (Thus the awkward moments made us worried and confused) Fluent and nice English would really help to create smooth and effective conversation.

Honestly, yes, there are a lot of people who got real upset that night when we came home (Despite enjoying the boys and the showcase) But after cooling down.. I come to realize that we are all Humans. And we make mistakes. Hence I would like to extend my apologies for being upset w you in my heart. (Yes, I was upset in my heart. I really wish you'd represent SG better. You'll improve Ken, please do:D) And I hope many other Cassies will learn to forgive you too :) Please, please note that Cassies are Strong, Faithful and Understanding fans/lovers/human-beings. We are full of Love and Faith. Time will Heal.

I, along w others, deeply apologize if we hurt you. Sorry <3 But we really hope you'll stay strong (like Cassies! :D) and move on. Yet, I hope you'll hold onto your words and improve yourself cause it'll be good for us, for SG, and esp for yourself of course :)

BOX cat said...

Yong Kian, although I dun really know what'd been going on lately with the concert, I could feel your mixed feeling from your posting.

The negative comments may sound nasty. But, you're able to accept it and learn from mistakes, which is very good.

You're one of the best speakers among us and you always are.


Zi Qi said...

Ken, dont be sad. Nobody's perfect. If something bad happens just laugh it over. after all, the sun will still rise from the east when you wake up, the earth won't stop spinning. I will still support you and everything will be fine.
cheers ^^

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小云 said...

你应该不记得我(吧),可是几年前曾经有过一些交流,也有看过你主持,对你的印象超好的!虽然我不清楚事件的来龙去脉,但希望你能振作起来!多多加油,不要让过错拖累美好的未来~ 未来一定会更好的,还有很多人支持着你,为你打气的!相信自己!不要给自己太多的压力,你一定可以的!^^-

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